“I am embarrassed when I’m forced to introduce myself as ‘a Somali refugee living in Kenya’
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DADAAB, 18 August 2011 - Having lived in a refugee camp in northeastern Kenya since he was 10 years old, Moulid Iftin Hujale, now 24, has struggled with his identity for most of his life. Hujale, a freelance writer for IRIN, wrote this article, based on his life, to illustrate the challenges of growing up as a refugee:
“I am embarrassed when I’m forced to introduce myself as ‘a Somali refugee living in Kenya’. I am no longer in Somalia and yet I am not a Kenyan citizen; so where do I belong? Am I going to be a refugee for ever? I feel I am lost in between. But I believe in who I am.
“I was only 10 years old when we first arrived in Dadaab from Somalia in late 1997. My family did not flee when the civil war erupted in 1991. We didn’t leave until our father died. The beautiful coastal town of Kismayo in which I was born turned into a battlefield. And there was no option but to escape. My siblings and I were separated from our mother in our struggle to escape the heartbreaking and indiscriminate civil violence.
“The journey was full of horror, exacerbated by ugly images that we came across, like families who were left along the road because they were too exhausted to go on. I still have bad memories about it.
“Our much anticipated destination was Dadaab, a refugee camp about 100km from the Somali border. Fortunately, after travelling the whole way with relatives, my siblings and I were reunited with our mother once we reached the camp. It was the most incredible reunion of my life.
“We registered with the UN Refugee Agency [UNHCR] when we finally arrived – a milestone for all refugees because the ration card it provided entitled us to food, shelter, water and healthcare.
“I truly honour the support they offered to all the refugees, specifically the Somali community, which makes up the largest refugee population in Kenya. There is nothing I can compare to Kenya’s generosity for hosting us for more than two decades.
“But when we first arrived there, we didn’t realize that the camp would unfortunately become our permanent home.”
A child in the camp
“I immediately enrolled in one of the few primary schools in Ifo, one of three camps that make up the Dadaab complex. I was put in Standard Two after passing an entry test. I had no books or paper to use.
“We younger pupils had class under the big tree right in front of the principal’s office. Many were the days when we missed classes due to heavy rains that the tree did not shield us from. Since we couldn’t all fit in the classrooms, we were forced to stay away from school until the ground dried.
Photo: John Ndiku/OCHA
Ifo, one of Dadaab’s three refugee camps, has only one secondary school “All the lessons were in English, except for our courses in Kiswahili, as dictated by the Kenyan curriculum.
“Throughout my primary education, I rarely heard about my home country. Most of my history classes were about Kenya and when we learned about East Africa, Somalia was a side note. I can list all the different tribes of Kenya and explain the country’s history and political system, but I know almost nothing about the people, history and politics of my native soil. We memorized the Kenyan national anthem. I forgot that of my motherland.”
Struggling to get a chance
“There was only one secondary school in Ifo camp and every pupil was struggling to get a spot in it. At the end of 2005, we did our final primary examination.
“After the results were released by the Kenya national examination council, UNHCR and its partners in Dadaab had to see how much funding was available and decide how many refugee pupils could be admitted to high school. It didn’t matter how many qualified candidates there were. Out of more than 800 pupils who sat for the exams, only 120 were selected from Ifo camp to continue their studies. I was among the lucky ones.
“The large school compound was fenced with thorny branches cut from the bush. The walls of the classrooms were made of flattened metal recycled from the USAID oil tins that were attached to one another and fixed round the walls.
“Even the upper class rooms were tightly congested with 80 pupils crammed into one small classroom. Many of us were seated on the ground and the lucky ones shared a desk with four other children. It was a total mess, 80 kids listening to one teacher. Teachers could barely create a path to reach the students in the back benches.
“Those who didn’t get the chance to go to high school had no chance. They were left stranded. Having nothing to do, most of them started abusing drugs that can be bought in the market. Many others must have joined the militia fighting back home.
“Throughout my school days I was dreaming and gaining momentum. I developed ambitions and professional goals, and believed in the power of knowledge and the opportunity that education would bring me. At the end of my final days in high school, my enthusiasm to keep learning was almost palpable.
“I completed my secondary education in 2009 and attained an [average] grade of C+, a grade that qualified me to join any university in Kenya. But all my dreams were shattered abruptly. There was no more! The authorities said even secondary education was a privilege for refugees, and there was no possibility of higher learning.
(More recently, some of the aid agencies operating in Dadaab in partnership with the UN intervened in response to the growing number of school dropouts, and developed vocational training and some very limited international scholarship opportunities.)
Unfair wages, if any
“More than 60 percent of the population in Dadaab is young. Only a few of them find work with aid agencies, as I did. I got a job as a community development worker. We are often called ‘incentive workers’ and are paid very poor wages regardless of our qualifications or work experience.
“The maximum amount a refugee staffer earns is US$100 a month. Some earn as little as $40 a month.
“Yet the refugee staff members do the hard part of all the operations. We go to the field daily, identify the vulnerable people in the community, carry out extensive mobilization efforts, and write reports. We act as a link between the refugee community and the agencies. We do all these difficult tasks under extremely harsh conditions.
“I am paid 10 times less than my Kenyan counterparts. It makes me feel abandoned. In fact when I get paid I feel stressed instead of joyful. How can I support myself and my family on so little?
“Also, ‘incentive staff’ get just 24 days of annual leave, whereas the local Kenyans are given two weeks off every two months. This also makes feel like the odd one out. I wonder what makes us so different. Are we not human beings like them? Is that an international law specific for the refugees? We are forced to accept these conditions and have no one to advocate for us.
“These employment conditions discourage those who are still in school. They complain that there is no need for them to go to class for 12 years and end up unemployed or working without dignity. Even the few who get diplomas and degrees remain underpaid. Under Kenyan law, refugees cannot move out of the camp, let alone access work permits.
“One of the biggest challenges the youth face in the camp is the restriction of movement. I hate looking for a travel document just to go outside the camp. The encampment policy has crippled our potential. I respect the Kenyan government for doing its job but I feel I am in prison.”
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Photo: Tom Maruko/IRIN
Refugees await registration in DadaabDreaming of a new life
“I’ve always wanted to become a journalist. I used to write for the student newspaper, and as part of my involvement with the Ifo refugee youth umbrella organization, I am currently serving as the editor of its bi-monthly newsletter known as The Refugee Newsletter.
“We normally write stories that expose the challenges as well as the achievements of the refugee community and link them up with the aid agencies. We circulate an online copy of the newsletter to the agencies and distribute printed copies to the refugees. We have a page on Facebook where we update all the daily happening of the camps, and now we’re working on a blog.
“I recently found out that I got an international scholarship opportunity from the Transitional Federal Government of Somalia through its embassy in Kenya. I am very proud and excited. The fact that after all these years living as a refugee I will be sponsored through my home country makes me feel like I gained my identity back after 20 years of despair.
“My ambition is to be a professional journalist and report on humanitarian news. I would like to change the world through writing and document refugee crises or stories that are not heard and extract them for the world to see, and act. Even though it is impossible for me to achieve my goals in Dadaab refugee camp with the limited resources and opportunities, my spirit is so alive, and I have a feeling that one day I will see the reality of my dreams.”
Moulid Iftin Hujale
Refugee News letters editor.
IFO camp.
19 Responses to “I am embarrassed when I’m forced to introduce myself as ‘a Somali refugee living in Kenya’
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deek ma alin - August 19, 2011
2:44 pm
Thanks man for your article and i share the same stroy with you. but never gave up as the world is changing and you will have the best opportunity. remember after every hardship cames the success.
Dahir Adan - August 20, 2011
8:37 am
thnx to moulid and all his co-workers,i really shed tears for thz bage when my bro gv abrush up abt his living standards and at large as arefugee.i know its dishurting issue thou we cant make any difference with in the camp or dadaab.i thank the kenya govenment bt it should respect us as arofugee also.the world”s law for refugees are one can cant be arefugee morethan in 8 yrs am sorry if i wrong it,bt we have living kenya since 1991 and that sums up two decades.although i dnt live in kenya now bt i still see my self as arefugee,i beg a burdon to any human tarrian agencies that likes to help those in need of help like somalis.as my brother said one cant make any change with in dadaab refugees and yet they are the most hardworking employees that only fulfill thier duties as per wanted,..i know kenyans very well and i have been living kenya for many years,for kenyans they are guud bt they like being seated at offices yet thier duties are bieng done by the refugees staffs …….incentives….iam sorry for my pple to safer in every where of the world bt as my bro put into asentence
A DAY WILL COME WHEN ALL THZ WILL GO WELL AND TEANAGE DREAMS WILL COME TRUE INSHAALLAH bt rem refugees are pple like you who can make changes out of nothing,we believe in GOD and thz how GOD suppoes choose for us bt we still have hope that we strict to our faith and our religion that averse says for GOD’S pleasures are uncountable dont loose hope,we still have hope that one day we will see our beautifull home with its star-flagged at the centre in every part of somalia..to my somali refugee youth ….dont loose hope the world is nt only to get ressettlement and also to come to western world only bt there are more than uncountable chances in every where of the world ,bro n sis life is how you make it to day and tomorrow,let us educate ourselves and our ignorant pple and show them the world goes with education and humanity.i know many of you will know my name and dont thnk iam away from you,my heart is still in hagadera refugee camp and other camps where i always share loughters with my agemates and my beautifull culture,am arefugee and i will be arefugee since i get my home back with peace no matter where iam now in the states.life is how you make it brothers and sisters.thnx GOD’s mercy being upon to all of us and our country SOMALIA.amiin,amiin,amiin……..thnx to MOULIID from ifo AND AFRICA from hagadera and let me see DAGAHALEY ALSO.
mohamed yarrow{jey} - August 24, 2011
9:23 am
ASC WR WBR I read the article 3x for my self & friends it really touch deep my heart Mowlid i share with you bro the same fate be it the living standard, work & the opportunity of the scholarship. Moreover, i see my self got my “identity” back after 2decades i think we can overcome all things you have mentioned in your autobiography by first mobilizing the youth umbrella especially those who write articles & manipulate wapsites through union of all camps on those basic agendas to show the whole world how we were deemed from our rights.
Abdifatah Gobe - August 26, 2011
7:14 am
Thanks mr Iftin Hujale i share the same wth you. Ontop of that iam even stranded 2 get my fate in schlorship and iam looking since 2008. Let us depend to our God to make our fate successfull one. Let us wish the best and try to work hard on how to make anew regime for our country. Thank bro
Dekow muse - September 1, 2011
5:07 am
At last your government is offering you an opportunity. Your article is highly expressive and matches any top class journalistic art. Do not lose hope. Some things take time but they come finally. It was great the Kenyan government offered you an opportunity for secondary education.
Thanks again for being the voice of many young refugees in Dadaab and beyond. See you some day
mungai n - September 3, 2011
12:13 pm
This is the best articel I read so far concernig the dire situation existing in the camps.I used to live in the camps six years ago and still the memories linger in my head. Here in USA, whenever I remember the camps I see the good and bad side of the life in the camps.
Mowlid congrat! my dear. This is yuu from A9. Iam happy and proud of you because you grew up for a reason and here you are!. Remember the days we used to paly soccer ball made from rags and plastic.
yusuf or yuu - September 23, 2011
1:28 am
Mr moulid hujale, iam so appreciate of ur sensational article. But in reality, did we ask ourself, “why should the need arise of putting pressures on the natives(kenyans), while we, more so somalis, are the causatives of thier faults and the achievers of thier rewards?”. Hujale, u did mention the hardships ur fellows are undergoing in their respective work places. I bear witness to ur allegation in that,most of organisations’ operations are carried out by the incentives as u apparently mentioned in ur article. “Incentive workers”, they called us, a sense of isolation and under-estimation struck in my mind. But what the hell can i do? Many thanks to u dear moulid. Render ur efforts and u’ll achieve ur set goal………
Abdirahman bare - September 24, 2011
10:04 am
Thanks mr mowlid hujale the wey you have embarrassed your self ‘
A/SITAR - September 26, 2011
7:07 pm
Kudos brother moulid hujale. This is realy touching article. Although am a kenyan-somali but we are stil considerd as second class considerd. As for you thank ALLAH u got scholarship to fulfil ur dreams.
Abdirahim mohamud - October 13, 2011
11:52 am
Tnks mowlid
Hagadera leyl yare - November 9, 2011
12:06 pm
Mowlid thank u fore disclosing all the relevant facts in any subject under the sun.infact the issue which hurted my heart is the incentive pay which just afree labour force.insh-allah we wil over came one day!
Ahmed moalim ilyaas - December 5, 2011
2:12 pm
I would like to applaud you and the others like you mowlid in these times of hardship and suffering and to be able to pursue the path of knowledge, I was a refugee but i was fortunate enough to have had my siblings who travelled before the civil war and they cleared my path to attain the adequate education and to better chances, anyway the thing i wanted to say to u is that in life every human being is bound to fall sometimes but the only thing that differs between winning or losing is how u get from your fall and u need a lot of determination,patience and focus to help u achieve all your goals. I wish you success in everything you do.
ps;were all citizens of the universe being a refugee is the card life has dealt you but dont let that stop you from aiming at the sky.
HAJI JAMAC - December 11, 2011
5:26 am
Moulid I have red your article with many tears and prayers ,it has realy touched at rock bottom of my heart and any person who reads this article is enough to learn the life that all the refugees were enduring.And bro you are type of person to be set as an example because your determination has really given me an eyebrose of what future is and I will try to follow your foot steps.you have shown it bro that being a refugee is not inability and may God be with you until you reach the walls of your ambition InshALLAH
Omar Mohamed Abdullahi - December 11, 2011
11:47 am
Dear Moulid thank you so much for your touching store; as we are Somalia people, we’re all feeling the same thing whether we’re in Europe or North America because of ” HANTIYEEY Mi auguro una buna fortACAAN WAA MID AAN HOY LAG ORANEEY” STAY TOUGH AND KEEP DREAMING, THE DAY WILL COME. Moulid ti auguro una buona fortuna.
HAWA LULA
lula - December 11, 2011
7:44 pm
Dear Moulid thank you so much for your touching store; as we are Somalia people, we’re all feeling the same thing whether we’re in Europe or North America because of ” HANTIYEEY MACAAN WAA MID AAN HOY LAG ORANEEY” STAY TOUGH AND KEEP DREAMING, THE DAY WILL COME. Moulid ti auguro una buona fortuna.
HAWA LULA
lula - December 11, 2011
7:47 pm
Hello brother!I want you to know that am proud of you very much,I was a refugee from Hargeisa to Kenyan in 1988 and it was hard very hard for me and what I use to wetness I left Somalia at the age of 7 with my father,mother and my siblings we were 6 of us but due to diseasse we left the refugee camp with my mother and 3 of us we lost out father and little brother.My dear I still rem that and still struggle with life.so I want you not to give up and one day your dream will come true. I applaud you and the others like you mowlid in these times of hardship and suffering and to be able to pursue the path of knowledge,
Leyla Osman - December 12, 2011
8:49 am
Keep on my friend never let down yourself,although it could be better if you could place it those website that are worldwide and are mostly visited.any way you really showed how helpless and demorolised the refugees are…iam urging you not to degrade your self….kila kitu iko na wakati yake kwa hivo usife moye inshalah u wil succeed.
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